I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize