the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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