So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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