Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
