And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
ttyl tear gas
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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