I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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