I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
