At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
