i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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