We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
