have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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