I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize