Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
