I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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