My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize