but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sober January is a disaster.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
