when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize