ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize