that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He better not be in your backpack
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
