One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
