help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
