On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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