i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
