So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
