And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
