Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
