Is it because I queefed?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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