yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Randomize
