Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize