Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
