with your own penis?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
