we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize