Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I had to cum in my sink.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
