imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
