the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
