3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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