Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
