So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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