Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
