your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she looked like the before picture.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize