Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
