you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
