we're blogging at a bar
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
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