You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize