Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize