Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
