just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
