I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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