It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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