i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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