I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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