Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize