I wanna passion pit in your ass
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
