He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
that is very illegal...i love you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize