he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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