You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This is not my ceiling
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
