What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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