Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
