I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
