that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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