Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
