I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
