I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
