You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize