Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
