Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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