carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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