so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you win again, gameday.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
